i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
