they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
