just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
