He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
