Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
