i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
