You just made me feel so damn special
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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