i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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