i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
