There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize