Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
