I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
