come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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