It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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