I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
