Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
