I think scott just propositioned me for sex
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
