Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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