Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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