I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
