Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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