Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
