Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
