BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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