so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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