There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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