I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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