I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
