Having a random hookup so left but love u
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
