You're my little dorito
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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