She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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