I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize