after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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