a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
