I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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