do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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