Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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