Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
