No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize