STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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