omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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