Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
