The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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