It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize