If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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