so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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