what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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