so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
