great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Liz is crying about burritos again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
