Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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