Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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