Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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