make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
