Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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