wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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