Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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