just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
