he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
