just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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