Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Non-Jews are for practice
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
