I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
