i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They took my balls.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
